Falling in love is something that some men fear, some men do once a week and some are not sure that it is possible. Love is a physiological reality as old as time itself, but it means different things to different people, and it is never a state of being unique to everyone.

By expanding their consideration of what love is, men can gain confidence in themselves, security in relationships and be better able to meet their partner's needs. We talk to experts in five fields about how they define love and how you can use these definitions to get much more love in your life.

The definition of the dictionary of love
Observing how dictionaries describe love shows how many different ways there are to think about the subject. Merriam-Webster Unabridged is currently under review; In a few months a new definition of the word love will be introduced.

"Love is always one of the most sought after words, so it was recently thoroughly reviewed," explains Emily Brewster, the lexicographer in charge of redefining love. "It is one of the oldest words in the English language and dates back to a Sanskrit word that means" he desires, "and is used to refer to both the most powerful and the most mundane emotions."

It is difficult to condense the meaning of love because there are many types. "There is the love that a father feels for a child that is different from romantic / sexual love, which is different from the love that fans show to an athlete or artist, which is different from the zero tennis score, which is different from love to chocolate or a favorite song, and so on, "she says.

She says that most likely she can come up with the romantic form, "the one that has to do with accelerated pulses and sweet hearts that say 'Be mine' and that sense is currently worded as' the attraction based on sexual desire: the affection and tenderness felt by lovers. "

The biochemistry of love
The euphoria that accompanies being in love not only happens. Love triggers a biochemical response in the brain, in which the hypothalamus releases dopamine, which creates feelings of pleasure, reward, desire and excitement. The hypothalamus is also responsible for producing oxytocin and vasopressin, both associated with attachment and attachment. Vasopressin is a hormone released after sex and plays a role in long-term commitment. The National Institutes of Health supported scientists who discovered that people who have a more positive relationship with their partner have higher levels of oxytocin, sometimes called the hug hormone, which is affected by physical contact. If the mere presence or thought of your partner makes your heart beat or your hands sweat, the epinephrine is to blame. Epinephrine is basically an adrenaline rush.

Men who want to use the biochemistry of love to boost their relationships should try to increase oxytocin production: try to hug your partner, sit a little closer or hold hands. A massage will surely set things in motion.

Defining the stages of love

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"The initial love feeling comes from chemistry, attraction and shared interest, but maintaining and building love comes from commitment and from showing one's best in the relationship," says Dr. Megan Fleming, a certified relationship expert. sexual relations and relations with New York. Great life Great sex. "It's knowing that someone supports you and that you continue to grow together and learn from each other."

The first phase is romantic love: the part rich in dopamine, high chemistry and great attraction that marks the beginning of new relationships. But eventually, this phase ends. "The next phase is the struggle for power, where once you know the person, the quality that attracted you to him, such as 'being relaxed', becomes 'lazy'," explains Fleming. Then comes mature love, which is conscious love. "Maduro is not a sexy word, but it is that adult consciousness in which you are not only reactive, but you really choose how you appear in your relationship, your behaviors and how you care for and love your partner," says Fleming.