A new day, a new heated discussion with your spouse about your child's parenting. These types of situations are quite common among couples who have different views on their upbringing. The most common cause of such wrangles is disagreement with the child's daily routines, punishing styles, and making unnecessary demands. That being said, it is important to understand that such issues can adversely affect your relationship with your partner as well as your child. Here's what to do when you don't agree with your partner's parenting style.

1. Turning Debates Into Discussions

No matter how hard you try, there will be times when your thoughts will be poles apart, and you’ll find it difficult to connect with your partner’s parenting styles. So how to begin with this? Start by addressing the conflicts, what you dislike and why you dislike them. Your discussion should boil down to finding the key differentiators in parenting styles so that you can take the next step. The bottom line is that you can only do better when you know better and know that you got to communicate.

2. Target the Problem, Not Your Partner

This is a win-win situation. Both of you have the best intentions for your child; just the method gets in the way. Rather than blaming them, acknowledge their point of view, work as a team, and understand that since you both grew up in different environments, it is only natural to have different upbringing styles. It’s not the person you should criticise, but their approach. You need to look up parenting methods where both of you can navigate smoothly and at the same time, your multicultural framework also remains intact.

3. Identify the Type and Nature Of Discord

Identifying the root cause of discord is important for coming up with possible solutions. Describe what bothers you? Do you think it is your partner's laid-back attitude or his overprotective behaviour towards your child? Are you in disagreement about how much freedom to give your child or how to imbibe discipline? Watch out for recurring issues or the constant conflicting ideas and figure out ways to either mitigate or eliminate them accordingly.

4. Construct a Mutually Beneficial Model

It is important to find the right blend of both parenting styles so that the child does not receive mixed messages. Suppose one parent scolds the child for being undisciplined, but the other barely cares. Now this will make it difficult for the child to understand if being undisciplined is good or bad. So, it’s important to set clear boundaries of what can be accepted and to what extent by introducing some non-negotiable rules. Have a broad-minded discussion on what exactly you ultimately aim for, and then proceed accordingly. Well, you might have to revisit your set rules to filter out what works best for you and your child and keep experimenting with the parental toolbox to ensure that you both come on the same page. 

5. Correction Over Criticism

This is the most common yet most neglected part. Trust me, if you crack this, half of your problem is automatically solved

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Source: Raising Children 101