Today I want to talk about how to make the right decision, even if you are in doubt. This article is the result of my own tossing between yes and no on a variety of issues. And I suddenly wanted to share with you the methods that I use in my life. Some of them I came up with myself, some were taken from books or advice. I will not beat around the bush for a long time, I propose to go straight to the list.

Meditation "Forward to the Future."
When one day my friend asked me how to make a decision, if in doubt, whether to change jobs, this method immediately came to my mind.

Its essence lies in the fact that you need to look into the future and look at yourself, some time after making a decision. Here are the questions to ask yourself:

How do I feel?

What is the most important thing that has changed in my life?

What does my life look like now?

Am I satisfied that I did just that?

For example,  in a situation with a choice of work, the meditation technique looks like this:

Find a secluded spot. Make sure nothing is in the way and sit comfortably.

Close your eyes, take 5 deep breaths and calm exhales.

Imagine that all unnecessary thoughts, internal dialogues and experiences go out of your head. Now it is completely empty and free.

Now imagine that you have made the decision to take a new job.

You see yourself a year after this decision. Take a closer look at yourself.

Do you seem content with your life? Do you like what you do?

Was it better to stay in the old place or did you make the right decision?

Ask yourself as many questions as you see fit. Listen carefully to your feelings, take a closer look at the expression on your face - does it express anxiety or serenity?

This method more than once or twice helped me understand how to make the right decision, even if in doubt. Moreover, logic has nothing to do with it, because it is it that often prevents us from following our intuition.

But, if you are used to making decisions based on logical arguments, then you will like the following method.

Descartes Square
A great way to make smart choices. Descartes' square technique boils down to asking yourself 4 simple questions about how to make a decision when in doubt. Which ones? I wrote more about this in the article “To do or not to do? Descartes square technique ”, so I will not describe them here. I will only say that many people use the Descartes square, because with its help a decision can be made quite quickly.

Metaphorical cards
Metaphorical cards are a tool for working with the subconscious. Perhaps now I use this method more often than others. Partly because I work a lot on cards with clients, and I see how magically they help to understand the situation and come to the right conclusions.

For many, it is no secret that all the answers we are looking for are already inside us, in our subconscious. But how to get them out of there? This is where cards come to the rescue.

The IAC has a gorgeous layout - "Difficult choice". There you can see not only two, but several alternatives at once. And not just look, but make out what obstacles may arise on each path, and what goodies you will get in the end. And many more useful things.

I repeat: metaphorical cards are not fortune-telling on the question "How to make the right decision when in doubt?" This is a psychological tool, where your subconscious mind gives hints, and you have the right to make a choice.

In case you have to make an important decision, I recommend that you seek help from a psychologist. He will both advise and help to correctly interpret the pictures on the cards.

But if you are just faced with some kind of everyday situation, then you can work with the cards yourself. Now they can be bought in specialized stores or on the Internet.

We are looking for the third option
Very often the problem of choice is far-fetched. This means that by trying to make an intelligent choice between the two options, we narrow our vision so much that we miss out on other opportunities. Who said there are only two alternatives? In fact, there can be a huge number of them, you just need to give yourself a chance to see them.

For example, when you are choosing between quitting and staying in your previous job, you may not see other decisions. If you are worried about a salary or a raise, you can safely tell your boss about it. You should not wait for the boss to take the initiative himself, especially if this has not happened for several years. The main thing is to be ready to give reasons for your request.

Or you get paid well but have too much work to do. To clean up even a small part of it, you could hire a remote student assistant for a small fee.

Perhaps your option is not keeping your previous job or firing, but part-time work somewhere in the third place or starting your own business. Or do you even want to change the field of activity, and this is your chance.

Choosing between the two alternatives can be tricky. How, then, can you make a decision if you are constantly in doubt?

If you calm down and let your brain switch, it is often able to throw a couple of interesting solutions.

Another example is relationships. Do you know if you want to divorce your husband or keep your family? Why not see a psychologist instead, or just leave each other alone for a while? Then, perhaps, you can "cool down" and make an informed decision.

Getting rid of emotions
How to make the right decision if you doubt its rationality? Quite often, the first step is to turn off emotions. It's not as easy as it sounds, but it works.

Serious choice is stress. And stress is emotions that obscure our eyes and prevent us from thinking soberly.  Therefore, first of all, you need to calm down and remove the emotional overload. There are two easy ways to do this:

Get distracted
Switch to something else. You can take a walk, do something. Something that is not related to the topic of your choice. Emotions tend to fade away, so you shouldn't make hasty decisions. Take as much time as you need, and then the mind will get involved.

Take a deep breath
As simple as it may sound, if you take a few deep breaths and calm exhalations, the body will relax, and with it your emotions will weaken. This is a good way to make a decision quickly and you don't have time to switch and think.

Understand the reasons
Sometimes, in order to do the best, you need to delve into yourself. And what, in fact, prevents you from making a decision? Perhaps you are delaying because of some kind of fear. Or maybe you choose not between what you want yourself, but between what your parents or those around you dictate. Then it becomes clear why it is so difficult to make a choice.

For example, you have long been fed up with the work of an accountant, you would like to quit it immediately and start soap making or scrapbooking. But still, hesitate with the decision, the question of choice has been tormenting you for a long time, but you still cannot make up your mind. Why, if it would seem, the choice is obvious? Most likely, it will be difficult for you to explain to your family why you decided to give up a stable salary and career in favor of creativity on which not everyone can make money (not my opinion, most people just think so). In addition, you yourself are not sure that you have the ability to do this. What if nothing comes of it? As a result, fears and social stereotypes are the reason why you cannot make the right decision.

Often this method leads to an understanding of how to make a decision when in doubt. To do this, you need to look deeper, allow yourself to see the true reasons for your doubts and think whether they are so significant.  If yes - to work on them (meditation, metaphorical cards, going to a psychologist, volitional decision), if not - ignore doubts and make the choice indicated by intuition or reason (depending on what you are used to being guided by).

Advice to a friend
How to make the right decision when in doubt? There is one more way. You need to imagine that your friend is tormented by the question of choice, and not yourself. What would you advise him in that case?

Many people think that everything is easy when it comes to others. This is partly true, working with yourself is always more difficult. There are a lot of excuses, various reasons "why he can, but I can not." However, to be honest, it smells crap in here. It's just that when we advise others to do something, we abstract from emotions, fears and doubts, and therefore we can develop a clear plan.

You may not follow your own advice. However, I find this method very effective in the question of how to make the right decision when in doubt. So you can look at the situation from the outside, expand your vision and find some non-standard options. Or see what lies behind each of the alternatives.

Let go of the situation for a while
It so happens that reason and intuition are silent. Well, you do not know which solution will be the best for you. In that case, I always do this.

I relax, turn off my thoughts and formulate the following command to myself - "everything is going in the most favorable way."  And then I wait.

For example, when I don’t know whether to agree to a trip. On the one hand, there are many things that would be nice to sing. You can also save money. On the other hand, trips always bring me great joy. And now, it seems, she has already broken her brain, but the solution still does not come. Then I pronounce this phrase, and in the end, everything happens in the best possible way. Or additional time appears, during which I manage to do all the things and free up a couple of days for the trip. Or the trip is postponed to more convenient dates for me. It would seem that everything is decided by itself. However, my message plays an important role in this. But, in any case, everything grows together in a way that I initially would not have thought of myself.

Conclusion
In this article, I tried to list all the ways that help understand how to make the right decision when in doubt:  meditation, anti-fortune telling on the MAC, 4 questions on the Descartes square (about which there is a separate article) and other methods . I use almost all of them myself, depending on the situation, mood and how much time I have to make a decision.

However, I wanted to mention one more very important thing. We ask ourselves the question: how to make the right decision? But what does “right” mean? And for whom should it be right. For others, or is it for us? I sincerely believe that our decisions should only be ours, correspond to our logic, our own ideas and inner instincts. And even if later it turns out that the best option was to act differently, our task is simply to draw conclusions for ourselves, on which we can rely in the future.