They say that a picture is worth 10 Authentic DeAndre Hopkins Jersey ,000 words (I don’t care that it’s usually 1,000; the original Confucian proverb says 10,000, so we’re going with that).So I won’t bore you with my thoughts on Sunday’s game, especially since pretty much everything I laid out can be found in Matt Weston’s excellent forthcoming Incompletions post.Instead, I will just post a picture of our great brain genius, the offensive innovator we were promised, photoshopped as Brain from the cartoon series “Pinky and the Brain,” because that’s just how much of a brain genius our big, moist-headed coach is.Besides, this week’s HotD is thin on submissions Womens Whitney Mercilus Jersey , so I don’t want to bog it down with excessive preaching about the failures of this team.Hey Brain, what do you want to do this week?Brain O’Brien:The same thing we do every week, Pinky...TRY AND WIN A FOOTBALL GAME!As always, in finest Hair of the Dog tradition, all swear words have been replaced with the word [kitten] to make this safe for work.The game itself, however, is still not safe for viewing.Ever.Pre-Game Comments:Capt RonWestonDiehard ChrisFirst Quarter:Kenneth L.Texans kick a field goal despite getting into red zone (part of a theme).Texans lead 3-0UTWestonKenneth L.MDC (like seeing a unicorn)UT (to MDC)MDCSaquan Barkley scores a touchdown, easily, Giants lead 7-3.UTWestonSecond Quarter:WestonUT (to Weston)Weston (to UT)Giants kick a field goal, lead 10-3.UTWestonO’Brien challenges an eight-yard completion that should’ve been overturned probably but wasn’t.UTWestonGiants kick a field goal, lead 13-3.Texans go three and out Womens Zach Cunningham Jersey , Giants score touchdown on next possession, lead 20-3.WestonUTTexans kick a sad field goal.Giants lead 20-6.Halftime Thoughts:UTWestonTimCapt RonMDCThird Quarter:UTWestonLukeMDC (to Weston)UTLukeUTFairbairn kicks a 54-yard field goal.Giants lead 20-9, but really, it’s the friends you make along the way that matters most.MDCLamar Miller fumbles the ball.UTMDCVegaMDCUT (to MDC)Fourth Quarter:Deshaun Watson throws a bad interception in the end zone.UTWestonVegaWestonUTTexans score a touchdown, only to have it taken off the board by a Julien Davenport penalty.[img]http://www.sndpic.com//nike_nfl_jerseys/nike_houston_texans/ni...
Texans get a touchdown again.Giants lead 20-15.Texans attempt a terrible two point conversion that fails.VegaUTMDC (to Vega)WestonUTVegaLuke (to Weston)MDCWestonGiants score a touchdown almost effortlessly.Lead 27-15.UTKenneth L.MDC (to Kenneth)UTBFDLukeBFDMDCVegaPost-Game Reactions:LukeWestonMDCVegaBFDHey!Let’s give out some game balls!Offense:(derisive laughter). But I guess if we’re going to give one to someone on offense, I’ll go with Will Fuller who had a damn good game all things considered.Defense:J.J. Watt got his first sacks since last year, three of them.So we’ll give him the ball this week.Special Teams:Ka’imi Fairbairn with the bulk of the Texans’ scoring has to get it for special teams this week.Over to you, Texans fans.Who gets the game ball from you?Does anyone?Who is the Pinky to Bill O’Brien’s Brain?Let us know in the comments below! Brandon McManus missed two field goals last Sunday in the Broncos’ loss to the Texans, including a 51-yarder at the buzzer. That was more just a miss on a tough attempt, but the Texans special teams will certainly take credit for it.Here are some useful stats when evaluating the Texans’ special teams:Ka’imi Fairbairn has hit 19 of 22 field goals this season. That ranks fifteenth in the league at a percentage of 86.4. He is 5-6 on field goals from 40+ yards and 1-3 on field goals from 50+ yards. His longest one was from 54 yards; that is tied at 11th in the league for the longest field goal so far this season.Fairbairn is 21-22 on extra point kicks, good for a 95.5 percent conversion rate.The Texans’ defense forces the fourth most punts per game in the league at 5.1 http://www.thetexansfootballauthentic.com/lamar-miller-jersey-authe... , which is tied with the Chicago Bears.Behind Trevor Daniel, Houston is seventeenth in the league with a 39.8 net punt yard average. They are nineteenth in net punt yard average for opponents at 41.0 per kick.A.J. Moore, Brennan Scarlett, Peter Kalambayi, and Gregory Howell Jr. are tied for the team lead with five special teams tackles.Football Outsiders has the Texans at a special teams DVOA of 3.6%, which ranks them at fourth highest in the league.With that in mind, what grade would you give the Texans’ special teams right now?