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In our book, Prized Possession, I spoke about the things that young women told us that impacted them greatly. One of those key principles was when they saw their dad loving and respecting their mom in a great way.
Celebrating 35 years in Cabo!
I share what she sa > using YOU as the lens she looks through. She will know from YOU what is acceptable and attainable. The way YOU love and honor your wife will partly determine the kind of husband (or boyfriend) your daughter looks for. What lessons on love and marriage is your daughter learning YOU?
If you love, honor and respect your wife, she will generally respond in a likewise manner to you! As we share our emotion, affection, heart, mind and soul with our spouse, she will be freed up to respond in kind, and love us the way we need to be loved in return. You both WIN!
Today’s Take Away: Take an inventory of how your marriage is doing. Recognize that your daughter, no matter what her age, is watching and absorbing. Ask your wife how you can be a better husband to her.
When Brittany was in the perfect zone for maximum Christmas fun, she opened a gift which elicited a response we still laugh about today. She wanted an “Easy Bake Oven” more than anything else, so of course we got one. When she opened it up and recognized what it was, she exclaimed in the most excited, 5 year old enthusiastic voice imaginable…. “EASY…. BAKE… OVEN!” with her face lit up with emotion. As she ripped open the paper she could hardly contain herself. It was one of those truly magical Christmas moments that we have all enjoyed.
Today’s Take Away: Make sure you stop and, in some way, say “happy birthday to Jesus” with your kids this Christmas season. It could be a new tradition.
I think the best present you could give Jesus this year on His birthday is to pause and meaningfully recognize him at Christmas with your family. It will be a great gift to your daughter to see her Daddy honoring Jesus. And it will be a great gift to Jesus for Him to see you honor Him as well. I can just imagine Jesus responding with the child like enthusiasm that my Brittany did for her Easy Bake Oven at the sight of you giving Him the gift of your honor, respect and recognition this Christmas.
Let’s break down the “two-fer”
Here is the bang for the buck and the value added. You obviously care about your daughter, your relationship with her and her general well-being. Your daughter arrives in this life with a blank slate. She is learning how everything works. She does this by watching, interacting and exploring life. Her most important > You as dad, might have the strongest, most powerful voice in your daughter’s life.
You have probably heard the phrase before, “Happy wife, happy life.” The first time I heard this phrase, it was in a comedy sketch where the comedian proceeded to rattle off 20 minutes of hilarious marriage material. His point was to help us guys understand that if we keep our wife happy, our life will be much better. If she is happy, we are happy!
Merry Christmas Season to all. For us parents, this is a magical holiday. The lights, tree, presents and all the hype makes things fun. Depending on how old your daughter is, the “magical” quotient will vary. For those of you with a daughter in the 3-8 age range, Christmas is on steroids. Have fun with it. My kids are 27 & 31 so we have left the truly magical zone.
Happy Wife, Happy Life – A “Two-fer”
You get to have a great marriage. Your daughter learns what to look for and expect in future boyfriends and husband.
Let me challenge you to pause with your family, and in some meaningful way, honor Jesus on Christmas. It might sound a bit rudimentary, but I know it is an exercise that is often overlooked. Find a way to say “Happy Birthday” to Jesus. Through the years, we have done it lots of different ways. Many years, my wife made a birthday cake for Jesus. We sang “Happy Birthday” and blew out candles. Often times, we paused to read the Christmas story out of the bible. When the kids were little, we made sure to pause before we opened presents and reminded them what Christmas was actually all about. We did Santa when they were little and we did Jesus always.
“After 31 years of watching my dad interact with my mom, I know for sure that he has every quality that I want to find in my future husband. It is because of the amazing example that he has set that I know what I deserve, and I will not settle for anything less. For that, I am extremely grateful.”
There is still time to get some great last minute Christmas gifts for the Dads in your life! See below!
In the context of this Father/Daughter blog which you can subscribe to at www.myfatherdaughter.com this phrase means even more! We get a “two-fer!” There is an opportunity to get more “bang for the buck.” Who among us doesn’t love a great deal whenever we can get one!
My Christmas wish and challenge for you this year is to pause and re calibrate to the real purpose of Christmas. Imagine going to a birthday party and passing presents around to all the guests and not actually giving one to the one whose birthday it is. That would seem weird and inappropriate. Yet, that is basically what we do every year. We get time off of work, decorate the house and buy lots of presents all in honor of someone’s birthday. Then, at the crescendo of the holiday, we often pass presents around to one another and ignore the one whose birthday it is.
My 31 year old daughter Brittany, has contributed a chapter in the book, “Prized Possession.” In her chapter she wrote this:

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Everything your daughter learns about men, dating, how she should be treated, what is acceptable and how worthy she is of respect will first come from you and what she observes at home. So, loving, honoring, and respecting your wife in a great way has a “two-fer” effect.
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