If your sexual experience feels incorrect or not what you want, you may have a million questions: What if I drink? What if we don't go all the way? What if I never said "no"? Your experience is your own, and everyone’s story is different. However, if you have bad feelings, your instincts are usually correct. Therefore, please trust yourself and consider some of the following questions. They may make those fuzzy lines clearer.

Has an agreement been reached (aka agreed)?
Thinking about what happened is the first part of the puzzle. You may not want to talk about it, it's okay. However, if you want, you can share your story with your friends, write down what happened, record yourself, and even seek professional support. When thinking about an event, you will find that there is a difference between feeling regret after participating in something and not wanting to happen in the first place.

If you don’t want anything to happen, but someone makes it happen, that person has violated your consent. Consent just means consent-if someone commits a sexual act to you that you do not agree with, it is a sexual assault. It sounds simple, but the legal interpretation may be different, and sometimes circumstances may make us doubt our role in the failure. These are some of the most common questions we hear.

What if I don't refuse?
Not to say no is to agree. If you are too scared or embarrassed to say no, or worry that not saying it will bring you danger, then your experience may still be a sexual assault. There are many ways to communicate consent. You and your partner share the rights and responsibilities to ensure that you are on the same page from beginning to end. This is why, for example, being incognito (that is, when the condom is removed without the knowledge of the sexual partner) is considered a sexual assault.

What if I have a relationship with this person?
If you don’t want to do something and someone continues without your consent, then it’s a sexual assault regardless of your relationship status. The emotions here may be complex and can feel contradictory. However, it is important to realize that if your partner thinks it is possible to have sex without your consent, you may be in a dangerous situation. You should get someone who respects you enough to get your consent and make sure you want to enjoy the experience with them. every time.

What if I drink alcohol or have no capacity?
If you are too drunk to refuse, or if you are handicapped for other reasons, and in any case someone does something against you, it is considered a sexual assault. Part of agreeing to or agreeing to have sex is about fully understanding and willing to make choices with your partner. If for some reason you don't agree enough, your partner has crossed a major route.

What if I change my mind during the change process?
You can agree, and then decide to stop or change your mind. Your body is always your own. If anything makes you uncomfortable, tell your partner. A partner who continued after you refused or expressed dissatisfaction violated your consent.

What if we don't "go all the way"?
Please remember that sexual assault is any sexual act committed against you without your consent. This may include kissing, touching, non-penetrating or penetrating (oral, vaginal or anal sex).

What if there is no physical violence? Isn't "beating" violent?
Violence can take the form of verbal attacks, personal attacks or emotional manipulation. If your partner disappoints you, is physically harmed, withholds salary, messes up your birth control or prevents you from leaving your status quo, it may be abuse. Learn more about the different types of abuse and violence that can occur in romantic relationships.

I think this is an attack. How should I do?
If you have been beaten, the first thing you should do is go to a safe place. This could be a friend’s house, a local Y or community center, a local rape crisis center or emergency room. Seeking medical care can help you ensure that any medical needs are met, such as emergency contraceptives, medications to prevent sexually transmitted infections, or treatments for injuries. Getting medical services does not mean you have to file a police report, but if you choose to report an assault, this can be an important step. Whether you decide to report an attack is entirely up to you, no one can tell you right or wrong.

If you have an experience that you have now realized is an attack, then just realize that it is not your fault and seek emotional help.

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