Sex has advantages outside of the bedroom. A roll in the hay has been shown in studies to strengthen immunity and even the heart. Additionally, having regular romps with your lover fosters the intimacy needed for a strong bond. However, you are not alone if you are not always in the mood for sex. According to New York City-based psychotherapist and sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, many women have varying sex desires, which may be a symptom of more serious problems. In some ways, he says, "sexual desire is a gauge of your general health." When a patient first walks in, having a low libido is frequently a sign that something else is emotionally or physically wrong. How can you overcome these obstacles in the bedroom and increase the heat in the bed? Continue reading to learn what women actually require for fulfilling and healthy sex lives.

 1.To be aware of your preferences in the bedroom

Knowing what you want is the first step towards having fun in bed, advises Dr Kerner. The stimulation you require to get through the process of arousal, the postures you enjoy, and a partner who can dance with you in that way and is familiar with the dance are all useful, he says.

It's crucial to be able to express these goals to your partner, He adds. If discussing makes you uncomfortable, Kerner advises framing your goals as fantasies. You may, for instance, say to your partner that you were daydreaming about how you two used to make out like teens. "Try to use arousing, stimulating language," he says. You will be able to have the kind of sex you want if you follow this advice. Masturbation may also help women discover their sexual preferences and boost their self-confidence.

2. The Capability to Tune Out the Noise and Concentrate on the Present

Even when we'd want to focus on romance, we often become sidetracked due to our high-stress lifestyles. But it's crucial to concentrate on living in the now, particularly for women. To fully experience arousal and orgasm, you need to be in a comfortable environment where your brain is completely inactive, according to Kerner.

The notion that women can enhance their sex lives by blocking out the noise is supported by science. Women's sexual desire, overall sexual function, and sex-related distress all significantly improved after an eight-session mindfulness training, according to a study that was published in September 2017 in the Journal of Sexual Research. Women who meditated performed better on tests of sexual function and desire, according to a different study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy in 2018.

Fancying may help you focus if you still find yourself worrying more about your to-do list than about what's happening in the bedroom. According to Kerner, "I think daydreaming is a pretty strong method to switch off your worrying brain." Many female patients, in my conversations with them over the years, do fantasise during sex—either unconsciously or intentionally—exactly for that reason, to reach a higher state of arousal.

3. Sexual self-confidence and a favourable body image

It may be harder for a woman to enjoy sex if she doesn't feel good about her physique. According to research in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, thoughts about the body during sexual activity and concerns about weight, physical attractiveness, and sex appeal all contribute to body image. Anticipate a woman's level of sexual satisfaction. The results imply that treatments that focus on these particular aspects of body image may be beneficial for women who report poor levels of sexual satisfaction.

Another study indicated that regular exercise and physical fitness improve the attractiveness and boost energy levels, both of which help people feel better about themselves. This study was published in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality. In addition, those who feel better about themselves could think they are more sexually attractive and might behave better in bed. Negative body image can get in the way and be a barrier for both men and women, according to Kerner. Positive body image can boost self-esteem. I've seen patients who gained more sexual self-confidence after losing a few pounds or starting an exercise regimen.

In any case, it's critical to understand that while you're in bed together, your spouse is not thinking about a few extra pounds, your stretch marks, or your C-section scar. According to Kerner, you don't need to be in great physical condition to enjoy your sexuality. And it's likely that your boyfriend thinks you look wonderful just the way you are. "Many men's personal preferences don't match what the media portrays as the ideal figure, "He continues. "Men are generally more focused on the specifics and sensation of sex during sex and deep stages of arousal.

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